Once, in a city that you do not know where, there lived a woman whose name meant, One Who Shall Rise Above. The 5’2 brunette inhaled deeply as she soaked in the light from the full moon as it created a highlighted path across the surface of Lake Ontario. The silver ripple initiated a series of memories that laid the foundation for her relationship with God.  As she enjoyed the quiet shoreline, she sent a ‘Thank you’ to the heavens.

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One Who Shall Rise Above, as a child, was able to keep her body mostly still, however desk work did nothing for a mind that preferred its own stories. Tales of saving the oceans from whaling ships with her trusted side-kick, a blue whale named Bluey; could rival any book she was forced to read for school projects. Although she never spoke her stories out loud, they did not go unnoticed by the teachers and her parents. Her grades suffered because no matter how hard she tried, her mind refused to stay on task.

Christianity was a Sunday morning ritual, however One Who Shall Rise Above was intrigued by lessons that taught her that God would provide her with everything she dreamed of as long as she followed the rules that were taught at church. She read her bible as much as her noisy mind would allow, but failed to really learn anything. She recited prayers in the way the church told her to pray, but she failed to find the right words. She tried to pay attention to what the minister was saying in church, however her mind failed to learn some of what was being taught.

When One Who Shall Rise Above’s failures began to outweigh her successes, her dreams faded. She barely achieved her High School Diploma. Her marks forced her to give up her dream to become a Marine Biologist. Although she did achieve a college diploma, she failed to maintain a position in her chosen field. As a young adult, she made a tough decision to marry a man that she was not in love with. Although he was kind in so many ways, he had a side to him that she did not see until after her second child was born. It took a lot of courage to admit that she failed to be the wife he needed her to be, and had to walk away when his angry outbursts threatened the safety of her and her children. She failed to keep herself physically healthy for her daughters when she became morbidly obese and dislocated her left knee. She failed to keep herself and her children safe when she was forced to rely on her estranged husband to complete errands that she could no longer do.

On an April morning in 2012, One Who Shall Rise Above sat in a hard wooden seat at the front of her church’s congregation. In her defeated mind, she sent out a quiet prayer begging God to heal her casted leg, which doctor’s predicted, would be eventually amputated from the knee down. The music which sung of God’s goodness had just finished. The minister stepped up to the wooden stand that held his notes and his bible. He began his message with a familiar bible passage from Jeremiah 11, “For I know the plans I have for you…” the once loved words now sounded like poison in her ears.  “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you…” the minister continued. One Who Shall Rise Above permitted bitterness to take over. She was done with doing the right thing. Resentment drowned out the minister’s voice as the 36-year-old woman called herself Damaged Goods. Damaged Goods raised her eyes to the manmade cross behind the man who spoke words that had become lies. Anger fueled Damage Goods to take aim at God and to yell words in her mind, “FUCK YOU!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL PROSPERITY?! YOU FUCKING LIAR!!!”

For the next 6 years, Damaged Goods rebelled against her former identity of the ‘Do Right Girl’. She leaned into whatever strength she had left to rehabilitate the leg that God wouldn’t heal. Damaged Goods’ poured out defeatist words to everyone she knew and her circle of supportive people trickled away. She was alone and unloved.

On a chilly October evening in 2018, Damaged Goods’ daughters were just old enough to be left behind while the single mom took her dog for a short walk. She hobbled along with a cane, with her small canine companion leading the way. The pavement was wet, yet the rain had stopped, and the clouds had cleared away. The moon casted a silver hue onto the path in front of her. For the first time in 6 years, Damaged Goods looked up. This time there was no manmade cross. The streetlights could not block the moon and stars casting their natural light.

Damaged Goods did not recite familiar liturgical prayers, nor did she use flowery words. She just spoke out loud, to God, in her own unique way, “Father, I’m so sorry. I feel so unloved right now.” Damaged Goods wept as she continued, “And I know I don’t deserve it, but…” she gasped back some of her intense emotions, “but could you ever forgive me!”

Her belly convulsed with sobs as she waited for the Lord of Heaven and Earth to respond. Damaged Goods felt God would be perfectly justified to lay blame and list out every wrong thing she had done. She was ready to be the Good Christian Girl again by taking whatever punishment God had for her. However, the punishment did not come.

Despite the fall chill, warmth wrapped around her arms even though she was alone. In a soft deep tone that was not her own, spoke the words within her mind, “Welcome back, my beautiful girl!”

The next week, Damaged Goods received a large sum of money that she was able to use to eliminate her debts, and purchase a new computer for her to stay on track with appointments, money and other things that needed arranging. God provided a new health care professional to help her down the path to get her weight under control. God reconnected her with a friend she had pushed away, yet continued to pray for her return to God’s arms. He restored a relationship with her parents. He also placed a new friend in her world which, at that moment did not make sense, but blessed her soul. Through the next year, God taught Damaged Goods about the true meaning of obedience and grace. Every day, like a toddler learning about their world, she was seeing the beauty around her again.

Damaged Goods was able to report to her friends and family the new exciting things that were happening. Her leg still bothered her, and she was not able to find work. Yet she remained patient. The money to cover her bills was on a steady influx. She did not know how she managed with so little, but God made sure that her and her daughters never were without what they needed and even provided a few extra fun things to create happy memories.

In November of 2019, God sent Damaged Goods on a journey, away from her girls, and the rest of the world. Her new friend was the person God sent to help launch the woman’s 3-night journey. The woman was thinking this would be just another series of familiar lessons. However, God’s plan was to give her 3 gifts that would be impossible for her to repay.

Damaged Goods, along with the rest of the participants were led into a room with several circular tables surrounded by chairs. Each chair had a place card the names of the participants, but there was a central place card that did not belong to any of the women that sat at the table. On the central place card, the organizers had placed the name of a familiar woman from the bible. The first challenge, for the participants, was to discern what each person had in common with their respective biblical woman. Damaged Goods looked at the name Queen Ester and wondered what did a single mother, living on welfare and walked with a limp had in common with a Queen who had the courage to stand up to her husband which saved thousands of people.

The second evening came with an overall exhaustion. It had been a long day of emotions and learning. Damaged Goods remained perplexed over why God sat her at Queen Ester’s table. The pain in her leg forced her to accept help from the volunteers to drive her just a few feet. She felt embarrassed, but she knew the servers were more than happy to help. The stairs she had to climb to her room seemed taller and steeper than when she first arrived the night before. She decided to wait a little bit to allow the other women to go up. Climbing the stairs was going to be a battle and she didn’t want to be in the way.

A new friend in the lobby of the dormitory asked Damaged Goods how she was doing, and she replied with a hushed voice, “I hurt, but I will be ok. I have been dealing with this pain for a long time.” Damage Goods felt her new friend place a hand on her shoulder as the friend stated, “Maybe tonight will be the last night God wants you to feel that pain!” Damaged Goods politely thanked her friend for her kind words and said, “That would be amazing, but healing has never been for me.”

Damaged Goods began her climb up the stairs. During her climb she prayed, “Father, you have given me so much already. But if this is what you want for me…” she paused and shook her head, but in defiance she said, “Then have at’er!” She giggled at her ineloquence, but she was done trying to find the ‘right’ words to say.  She slowly limped to her dorm where she met up with her roommate. Damaged Goods engaged in conversation which transferred her focus from her pain to what her roommate had to share. Without thought, Damaged Goods stood up. No cane, no struggle to get onto her feet. She did it just as easily as she had when she was a teenager. Damaged Goods stood up and sat down a couple more times to truly grasp what was happening. The pain was gone, and the strength had returned. She asked her roommate if she could see what was happening. The roommate expressed her puzzlement because she didn’t know about Damaged Goods history.

“Look! No cane!” Damaged Goods repeated as tears began to fall. “My leg! There’s no pain!” Damaged Goods proceeded to boldly walk out of her dorm, and down the hallway. The roommate chased her trying to contain her tears of amazement.

Damaged Goods paused at the top of the staircase that was a huge struggle just moments before. She took a deep breath, and walked down the staircase without pain, or any weakness. The handful of women shot confused looks at Damaged Good as she yelled out, “Look!!!! There is no cane!!!” Everyone in the lobby started crying and praising God. Damaged Goods turned her eyes back to the stairs. She grinned, thought to herself ‘dare I?’. She took off, running up those stairs. She did not come back down. She yelled goodnight from the top of the steps and slept the soundest sleep she had had in years.

The second full day, Damaged Goods got to share in God’s handiwork with the rest of the people who were there. She thought God had finished with what he had in store for her. The next gift may seem very small to most people in comparison to having a leg healed. The next gift laid the groundwork for something that would come a couple of months later. The next phase of Damaged Good’s journey was to relearn how to hug. When Damaged Goods began this journey, the thought of a man putting both his arms around her, triggered intense feelings of fear and anxiety. As they were talking about this hug, she kept saying to God in her mind “Please not from a man! I’m not ready!” The first hug came from a woman during the lesson, but the next hug, came from one of the three men that were to represent how a man should have treated them. One of the male pastors came to her, and asked for her permission to give a hug. She could feel anxiety rising, but she trusted God and whispered ‘sure’. Like a good, loving, father; he placed both his arms around her shoulders squeezed tightly and let go. What he did not know was no man had ever asked for the woman’s permission to touch her. It was typically forced on her whether she wanted it or not. God did the rest. The anxiety melted away.

By the end of the 3 night journey, Damaged Goods realized that the first gift was not the healing of her leg. The first gift occurred when God sat Damaged Goods at a Queen’s table. At Queen Ester’s table, God showed Damaged Goods, what He saw when He looked at her.  To the people around Ester, she was just a common young woman, and not worthy of such a high status. Yet God saw a brave and intelligent woman, who loved Him. God took Ester out of her little corner of the world and raised her up into the light, to do what God needed her to do.  He called Ester by name to do an important task.

As for the woman who called herself ‘Damaged Goods’, God did not give her that name. When the woman was ready to receive God’s gifts, He did not condemn her, but raised her out of her darkness, and sat her at a royal table to delight in the light of His love. Although she missed it at first, God restored the name He intended for her: One Who Shall Rise Above.

As for One Who Shall Rise Above’s happy ending: She has gained a wonderful husband and three step-sons. Medical specialists conducted numerous tests and confirmed an inexplicable improvement to her leg. To quote the Cardiovascular Specialist, “If your leg stays like this then you won’t need an amputation. I’ve been practicing for 20 years! I have never seen or even read about this happening.” Of all this good news, the one she cherishes the most is the close bond to God and is following the path that He has laid out just for her.

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Stacy released a contented sigh as she concluded her slideshow of memories.

Gregg, her husband, took her hand in his and asked, “Are you ok?”

Stacy gave Gregg her best squinted smile and replied, “Never better! Hey, did I ever tell you what my name means?”

“Ummm, no I don’t think so.” Gregg responded. Ignoring the randomness of the question he asked, “What does it mean?”

“It means, One Who Shall Rise Above!”